I tried. I really, really tried to be a good member of the tribe…

But its so hard! You know, when I was born, my parents were very happy. A son to continue the family line. Sorin the Fifth! And such a clever one, too.

But very soon, it became clear that something was wrong with me. I did my best to behave like all the others… believe in the Divine Devourer, hate elves, don’t let anything go to waste. That was the easy stuff. Well, except the hating elves part. You know, a good lizardman is supposed to follow everything the higher ups are saying, especially the nobles and shamans. And yet I couldn’t help myself. Why were we supposed to hate the elves again? Why do we hunt them for food when there are much easier targets in the swamp? And wouldn’t it make even more sense to eat what is already dead instead of killing the living?

At first, all my questioning was dismissed as the curiosity of a very peculiar child. But as time went by, it became worse. I don’t know why I did it, I just felt like I had to. But it made me the “odd one”. One other kid in my hatch group in particular was very outspoken. Kafak the Eigth. So close to nobility and such a jerk. Of course, I would never dare to say that to his face, else he might left me dangling head-first from a tree again. My tail still hurts from the last time, never again. After all, my parents did nothing to stop it, instead, they let it happen and hoped it would fix what was wrong with me. Just say yes and thank you and you’ll be fine, is what I learned.

Still, it was a very lonely life. Oh, sure, there were the mandatory hunting trips I had to attend. But even then, most other members of the tribe avoided me (except Tegid the 2nd, but such a lowly friend didn’t help my cause much). So I spend a lot of time just sitting on a log, observing the surroundings and the animals.

That is when I had the best idea ever! Animals have such clever ways of hunting and defending themselves. What if we could emulate that and augment our hunting party with such abilities? Yes, an excellent idea! With a renewed purpose, I now spend my alone-time (of which I had a lot, did I mention?) building devices that could help us become better hunters. Surely then the tribe would finally acknowledge me as an equal. It was difficult, but I finally finished my first invention. I had observed frogs could shoot their tongue out very far and very rapidly to pull tiny objects to them, so with a combination of some vines, a bit of scrap metal and some shaped human bones I found lying around (what a waste!), I had made an wrist-held device that could do the same to larger prey. Admittedly, it didn’t work perfectly, but it should make stuff easier.

But when I presented it, proudly, my people simply laughed at me. “Silly” they called it, “useless”. I wasn’t going to let that stand. I announced that I would go hunting alone, and I with the help of my device, I would bring back a jaguar, one of the deadliest predators in the swamps. I was let go with great laughter. I was glad I had my back turned so noone saw the tears in my eyes. Noone but Tegid the Second, who came with me a short way and wished me good luck. But even he wasn’t hopeful. And he was close to being banished for being useless himself, so his approval didn’t help much - again.

Four days I stalked the swamp until I finally found what I was looking for. The jaguar stood on a fallen tree, observing the river. He didn’t notice me sneaking up on him until it was too late. I shot my device (I now called it the “Grappling Tongue”) and hit him. But unfortunately, it didn’t stick all the way and the jaguar fell into the river. Cursing, I jumped after it. After all, I needed it to gain the respect of the tribe. I fished it out of the water, but it was unconscious. Very bad. Ambushing alone is a cowardly tactic only reserved for hunting beasts, so I was well within my rights, but to kill an opponent who had no chance of fighting back? It was against tradition. But then I noticed: I only said I would bring back a jaguar, not that I would kill one. So I shouldered it, nursed it wounds a bit so it would be able to fight later and made my way home, ready for a triumphant return. On my way, I saw a strange group making their way through the swamp - a human with tiny crossbows, a very buff half-orc and a black-haired elf, although her ears were smaller than I expected. Fortunately, they seemed to be in a hurry and did not spot me. The buff half-orc looked mean and barely edible, although his bones would probably make great clubs.

Barely anyone even noticed me, even with an unconscious jaguar on my shoulder. The tribe was in upheaval, everyone running around, shouting orders or following them. Something about elves trying to kill the Divine Devourer. What an offense! But the group I saw on my way home came to mind, and so I asked the Shaman whether he was sure it was the elves.

That was my final mistake. It was as if time stood still as the shaman took his staff and let out a shout, transforming himself into something that looked like… a Divine Devourer? I didn’t know they could do that. Already terrified, I cowered and begged for forgiveness, but it was too late. With everyone listening, the shaman announced that I was hereby banned from the tribe for „repeated heresy and sowing unrest”. I was allowed to leave the village, but if I ever came back, everyone would be allowed to kill me and leave my body to rot. They wouldn’t even make my hide into a shoe. And so, for a second time within a week, I left the village in tears.

For a moment, I wandered about aimlessly, only stopping when the jaguar came to his senses. I prepared for a fight, but it seemed mostly thankful that I “saved” it. I decided to keep it for now. At least that way I had some company and if I ever ran low on food, I could eat it. While I nursed its wounds, my thought kept going back to the strange group. I was almost convinced now that they were the ones who tried to kill the Divine Devourer. What if I caught them and brought them back to the tribe? Then they would have to take me back! Yes, good plan. Except I was in no way equipped to handle them. I had some training with weapons, sure, but not nearly enough. So I decided to follow them and arm myself to the teeth on the way. Teeth might being the operative word here.

So I followed them and collected every bit of useful stuff lying around. Even managed to forge some big sword out of metal and the spine of a long-dead crocodile. I was very proud of it and quietly decided to upgrade it with some sneaky stuff. Even managed to put some armour together. I noticed they didn’t wear any armour to speak of, so I hoped it would give me an advantage. Just one problem. I managed to sneak in a listen from time to time and they seemed… nice. Way too nice to be murderers. Still, I had to do it. But shortly before I made my move, I lost their tracks when they took a boat in Road’s End. I should have been devastated at losing my chance to be welcomed back into the tribe, but to be honest, I was - sort of glad.

And anyway, I had hatched a new plan already. The group once mentioned a guy called Pan who could do amazing things with metal and wood. The shaman’s transformation had kept me awake many a night. Of course, I would never be able to do it - I never showed any talent for that. Just another nail in the coffin that was my relationship with my peers. But maybe, just maybe, I could learn to make some sort of armour for Jaguar so he could do it? Or somehow convince this Pan to teach me how? Of course, that would mean he would have to stay alive in this dangerous world. So I started scavenging again. Made some armor that would inject him with some of the stuff that wall lizards use to regrow their tails. While doing that, I had the idea to maybe hollow out some of the cartilages from my sword so i could administer it myself, too, if I needed it.

Soon, it became clear that I wouldn’t be able to find everything in the wild though, so I would have to venture into the so-called cities full of loud and mean people. It wasn’t easy. I tried not to speak to not make any mistakes, but then people where angry that I didn’t speak with them. I spoke of home and people were offended, even chased me out for being a “monster”, whatever that means. It was very hard, but I managed.

However, I wasn’t very successful with finding anything useful. Yeah sure, I build a firespitter modelled after what a fabled dragon was able to do, but nothing to help me with my quest of making Jaguar a shaman. Oh well. On to Buckingwater. Perhaps there is something there.